difficult to understand…

Monday is not usually a day that finds me with a lot of things on my mind… Just dealing with the start of the week is ordinarily more than enough to keep me busy.  Today has been different from most.  I’ve been puzzling through a few things.  Some of the weird things in my life that are confusing. For example – although it seems counterintuitive, insomnia can actually be a symptom in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Does that seem like a cruel and ironic joke to anyone but me?  That sort of defies comprehension.  Debilitating exhaustion is already one of the identifying problems with the condition… it would seem that sleep would be easy.  Not the case!  For some patients, anyway.  (I am pointing at myself while typing this.)  It’s not something I deal with every day, but I go through phases dealing with horrible insomnia.  It’s cruel and unusual punishment but can occur with anyone dealing with CFS or Fibromyalgia.  (Yay!  I get it from both sides!)

Sorry!  I sound angry and I’m not – honestly!  (most of the time, anyway… lol)  : )

I didn’t intend to go on and on like that.  One more mini-rant and I’ll be done, okay?  Okay!  : )

Another thing I’m having difficulty with – last Friday I was hauling stuff up and down the stairs to the attic and it made me sore and wasn’t easy, but I was physically capable of doing it.  Yesterday I made cupcakes and it took me almost 20 minutes to fill a twelve cup muffin pan.  Why?  Because I couldn’t hold the KitchenAid mixer bowl with one hand – my arm just wasn’t strong enough.  I had to hold the bowl against my stomach and lean against the counter.  It just doesn’t make sense how things could change so drastically over the course of two days… The good news – I was able to finish not just one pan of cupcakes, but two!  Orange creamsicle cupcakes – baked, frosted, the whole shebang… And then, of course, I was also able to eat them.  lol!

orange cream pop creamsicle cupcakes


On a lighter note – I have a weird movie quirk that I can’t understand.  While working today I was trying to find something on the TV to listen to in the background.  Moulin Rouge! was playing on one of the stations and was about halfway through.  I love the movie and the music, so I figured it would be a great choice.  Only problem – I can’t watch it, even in periphery, without crying at the end.  Every. Single. Time.  So, why do I watch it??  Singing a medley of love songs in a golden elephant boudoir with Ewan McGregor IS on my bucket list, but that would make me happy… lol!  The end of the movie – not so much.  So why I torture myself by watching it when it just makes good sense to avoid it altogether?  My heart would remain unmoved, my tears unshed and if I need a fix I can just sing the songs in the shower.  Wouldn’t that be a great solution?  But no!  If it’s on and I watch any part of the last 30 minutes or so, 8-9 times out of 10 I will end up teary-eyed.  Most people who know me are aware of my extra tender and sensitive heart and would not be very surprised by this admission.  Few are aware, however, that I consider a handful of movies worth the tears no matter how many times I’ve seen them (and cried).  Apparently Moulin Rouge! is on the list.  lol!  (The Fall  also comes to mind as another movie in that category.)

moulin rouge movie
Love this movie!


So there you have it!  A few of the things I’ve been trying to find peace with this afternoon.  : )  Nothing shocking or spectacular I know, but more excitement than I see on most normal Monday afternoons…  Hope your Monday has been interesting and exciting in some way, and that you find peace with the puzzling questions in your life!  : )


6 thoughts on “difficult to understand…”

    1. Thanks Katie! Things are going okay – some days are just a little more frustrating than others. : ) The cupcakes really did turn out good – better than expected! Next time I make ’em we’ll invite you over for one! ; )

  1. I feel you. I hate that I have the strength to do things but I know I’ll pay for it later. That was one of the things I had to come to terms with. Nothing is “wrong” it just hurts. But…no pain no gain….literally.

    1. Yes! ‘No pain, no gain’ really sums it up sometimes, doesn’t it? It’s unfortunate, but it’s life… Sometimes I get so excited when I have a lot of energy and strength and forget all I’ve learned about pacing. Those days end up costing me the most, but it’s usually worth it if the flare doesn’t last too long.

      Good to ‘see’ you! Hope things are going great for you and that you’ve been feeling healthier recently. Take care! : )

  2. I’ve been stalking your posts today and I wanted to tell you that I think you have some beautiful photography here! The cupcakes made me hungry and the close-up of the tiger was gorgeous. Here’s hoping Tuesday is better than today 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind compliments and support. : ) Thank you for checking out my blog and please feel free to ‘stalk’ it anytime! Not every post deals with icky health issues – sometimes I can be downright cheerful… lol! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s